3 Lessons Learned Sharing Meals at Restaurants

I’ve become “that” Dad.

You know the one I’m talking about. The one that we all swore we’d never become.

How did this happen? I took a vow… and there may have been blood involved. It’s all a little hazy now. What’s it been, 15 years or more!?

Dining Room & Entrance

Image Credit Renée S. (Creative Commons)

From 19 to 21 years old, I supported myself, and my bad habits, as a waiter earning tips. Most nights I could easily make enough to cover my bills and have a little fun. But every now and again, without fell, a family of four would walk through the door, order four waters, one adult meal to be shared, and one child’s meal to be shared.

Seriously!? Crap!

If you’ve ever worked in the service industry, you’ll easily empathize.

Today, as a Dad of two young children, I’ve discovered there are great lessons to be taught during the occasional shared dinner at a restaurant. The sit down kind with actual menus. No slides. No cheap toys marketing the latest children’s movie at a theater near you.

Lesson #1 : Social Behavior

I would get a great laugh out of witnessing someone swinging from the ceiling or climbing the walls at a restaurant, though I would not be happy if it were my child. Yeah, that’s a tad hypocritical, but you’re thinking the same thing.

It’s important that our children know how to behave when they sit down for a meal. To learn acceptable social behavior, you have to be in a social environment (sometimes you have to state the obvious).

The fact is, your expectations at home are probably different than what you would tolerate in public. This is why it’s good for our young children to witness how others sit at a table for dinner in public. Sometimes it provides great learning opportunities of how not to behave… you know the type I’m talking about.

Lesson #2 : Fiscal Responsibility

Fiscal is just a fancy word for money. Bottom line – pun completely intended – our society has lost any sense of fiscal responsibility. American’s have become so numb to personal cash management that we don’t even look at our receipts after making a purchase.

When’s the last time you really looked at the amount you pay for a family of four at a fast food joint? According to a study conducted by Time.com, “supper for a family of four at McDonald’s runs in the neighborhood of $23 to $28.” WOW!

I’ve got a confession to make. Our family of four only orders 3 meals at McDonald’s. My wife orders a small fry and drink and eats the kids leftovers. Even so, we’re still paying almost $20 every trip to the golden arches.

Let’s compare this to our recent trip to a well known Italian restaurant. Pecan Crusted Chicken Salad split with my wife + 1 Kids Grilled Chicken and Broccoli over Pasta split between a 6 and 4 year old = full bellies for $17 (not including tip).

Not only was the price of a full meal in line with that of an assembly line cheeseburger, but we were also able to eat healthier, which brings us to Lesson #3.

Lesson #3 : Physical Responsibility

Have you been to McDonald’s lately? Take a look to the new addition to the menu board. Maybe it’s not so new because I always order the same thing but have only recently just noticed it, but they’ve added the calories next to their menu items.

When I first saw this, my first reaction went something like this, “That’s disgusting! I’m pretty sure I just gained a few extra pounds just reading that.”

What I don’t understand is how the portions are getting smaller, and the calories are getting larger. My son’s Happy Meal cheeseburger is the same size as my quarter pounder with cheese. Tell me how that makes sense.

By splitting meals, you can control your portion size. In reality, we’ve become so obsessed with excess, the portions that most restaurants serve are way too large anyhow. When your children see that you’re not gorging yourself with piles of food, they typically follow suit and pick up the good eating habits you model.

So, I’m proud to say, “I’m that Dad,” and I’ve found teachable moments in dining out with my family.

And my tipping habit? Well, I believe you tip on service, not strictly on the final bill.

What are your dining out habits? Do you find the three lessons outlined above are valuable? I’d love to know your thoughts in the comments below.

About Chad

I stir people’s enthusiasm by energizing them to turn thoughts into action. Regardless of title or position in an organization, anyone can be a leader and postively influence the world around them
This entry was posted in Leadership, Legacy. Bookmark the permalink.
  • http://richlangton.com/ Rich Langton

    Chad, you are right on the money with this one!

    I’ve thought about all three lessons – they seem to come back to me every time we’re driving through McD’s. Firstly that we should probably be eating better and teaching our kids the same, secondly I’m thinking about our budget and how McDonald’s isn’t a cheap option anymore, and thirdly, I’m not getting any younger and my metabolism doesn’t like fast food!!!

    Well done – lessons noted!

    • ChadMillerBlog

      Thank you for your kind words, Rich!

      BTW, I hopped over to your site and I have to say, WOW! Not only was the content valuable (and powerful), but I was really impressed with the design, flow, and ease of your site. There are some great things that I have been able to take away.

      Thanks for stopping by. I hope to connect again soon.

      • http://richlangton.com/ Rich Langton

        I really appreciate that, I’ve worked hard on my site so it’s great that you’d notice the design etc. Thanks so much Chad.

  • http://twitter.com/CoSkills CommunicateSkills

    Thank you Chad for a well-written post! I use to split my food with my 5-year old, and since he always has come along to “real” restaurants (not McD’s), he does behave great in all situations. I can clearly see the differences from other kids, whose parents need to “restaurant train” them at hamburger bars. If you role model good behaviour, there’s no need for hard “raising”.

    • ChadMillerBlog

      It’s always great to hear from you, Anna. You’re definitely a parent who get’s it. You’re last sentence is very telling of this.

  • http://livetheneweconomy.com/ Mike

    We’ve almost completely stopped going to fast food restaurants. We also frequently split meals when we eat out, though I do admit that I always feel a bit like I’m being judged by the wait staff when we do! One advantage of having a few local restaurants that we privilege is the fact that they all pretty much know what to expect from us now! We also rarely buy drinks too.

    • Chad

      Great to hear from you, Mike.
      The judgement from the waitstaff is the biggest cause of frustration wen we go out. Little do they know, I tip on service more so than cost. I was in their shoes once, I know what it’s like.

  • The Sadder But Wiser Girl

    I ended up shelling out money for an unexpected lunch at the golden arches the other day. I was the mean mom. No happy meals, just a sandwich and milk for both kids and we all split a big fry. Even then it was almost $9. I hate fast food, and it didn’t even taste very good!

    • Chad

      $3 a piece for lunch is a big win. Unfortunately, the food is often not satisfying – if ever at some of the more frequented fast food joints. Even $9 isn’t a value when you leave dissatisfied.

  • http://twitter.com/readbradthedad Brad Marmo

    Portions are so large at even the chain restaurants that splitting meals is almost a no-brainer. But just as important is your point about behavior when out to eat. I get so embarrassed when my kids act out (the little guy likes to scream) that I ship them right out of the restaurant and put them in timeout at the curb. They are well behaved 90% of the time these days. I’m also against tablets and gaming devices when outnto eat. If you can’t hang with mom and dad for 1hr without your face buried in a screen, I’m doing something wrong.

    I got off point. Unfortunately we don’t split meals that often and could probably get better at this, but we definitely control our portions and bring food home for lunch the next day. Great post, important stuff.

    • Chad

      Brad, we could create half a dozen blog posts from your comment alone.
      You make several great points. In particular, I like the accountability that you hold yourself to by understanding that we’re doing something wrong as parents if our children can’t spend an hour with us without wireless devices.

  • http://www.michaelnichols.org/about Michael Nichols

    Great post. We share all the time. ;)

    • ChadMillerBlog

      Thanks, Michael. Glad I shipped. I’ve had some great response to this post.

  • http://www.dadrenaline.com/ Christopher Pilon

    I have to tell you that all this talk of food is making me hungry. :) Seriously, though, this is exactly one of the reasons we’re trying to eat more whole foods. The meals at restaurants – especially fast food – have just continued to have more and more calories. And I don’t want my kids to have the same eating habits that I gained over time. We’ve even gotten to the point where we’ve stopped letting ourselves or our kids have soda. Not only are they physically healthier but we’ve seen huge changes in their behavior (not that they were bad), as well. As for tipping, I’m right there with you. I’ve left tips equal to the cost of my meal before just because I thought the server was awesome.

    • ChadMillerBlog

      For a while, when my wife suggested we share a meal, I cringed. My thought was immediately of what the waiter would think followed by what will others sitting around us at other tables think. Of course, that was many years ago, and now, I’m happy to share the benefits of splitting meals.
      You’re taking the right steps in modeling great eating habits, Chris. And, you make a great point, behavior and attitudes tend to get much better when we’re not consuming a ton of junk.