ChadMillerBlog

“Women are crazy! Who would want to do that again?” ~Nick Marshal, What Women Want

I’ve never taken so long to complete a 200 page book in my life.

No Laughing Allowed was an incredibly hard book to read. The words kept blurring together through my tears of laughter.

In most circles of friends, there’s always that one woman we enjoy being around because she keeps us laughing. Not that we’re laughing at her, but laughing with her. She easily makes light of personal situations and can make fun of herself while keeping things in perspective. Yeah, you know the lady I’m talking about.

Now, imagine being surrounded by thirty-five of these women! Fortunately not all sharing their story at once.

Abbey Fatica and Monica Merrill Mylet of Life Well Blogged have curated some of the funniest Moms you can find in the blogosphere. These ladies will capture your heart and tickle your funny bone while providing a completely transparent, and often vulnerable, peek behind the curtain of their role as Mom.

As I read, I often found myself feeling like Nick Marshal, Mel Gibson’s character in What Women Want. I had been allowed to venture into a world where most men don’t dare to approach. Torturing dialogue of weiner hair, embarrassing OBGyn appointments, and adventures of lost dignity in fast food bathrooms are just the tip of the iceberg.

The contributions from this group of Moms is raw and honest. Abbey and Monica did a great job of keeping the integrity of the writing by inserting “*” and not taking out language that may be offensive to some.

I’m not ashamed to admit, by the end of No Laughing Allowed, I was ready to pour a glass of wine and try on a pair of yoga pants. Okay, I’m kidding… I prefer beer or whiskey to wine.

The bottom line is this: Whether you’re a Mom or a Dad, this book provides great insight and laugh out loud enjoyment as you dive into the adventures of parenthood. Moms will be filled with empathetic laughter while reading of all-to-familiar experiences. Dads will gain a much deeper appreciation for being a Mom and hopefully be challenged to create some side-splitting-belly-laughable moments of their own.

So, here’s the cool thing… you have an opportunity to pick up a copy of No Laughing Allowed for FREE! Winning is easy. Simply follow the instructions in the Rafflecopter widget below.

The contest will run from Thursday, January 10 through Wednesday, January 16, 2012.

But wait, there’s more…

Can’t wait to get your hands on No Laughing Allowed? Click here and pick up your copy today! The incredible ladies of Life Well Blogged have committed to sending a portion of the proceeds from every copy sold to the Sandy Relief Effort.

And, the fun doesn’t stop there. Sign up for the LWB newsletter here and you’ll be eligible for a FREE Kindle Fire when the book has reached 1000 downloads!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

What are you waiting for!? Get your entries in and get ready for a good time!

The fellas at DadsRoundTable.com were kind enough to publish another post of mine… I decided to have a little fun this go around and “expose” my lighter side. Enjoy…

There is no feeling more uncomfortable than intentionally letting another man grab your bare testicles.

However, like many men before me, I dropped trou and allowed a man to not just pinch and pull my boys, but stick them with a long freakin’ needle, slice them open with a razor, and cut my means for reproductivity right out of me! That’s right, I got the big “V”. The ol’ snip-snip.

Image Credit: enggul (Creative Commons)

Guys, if no one else will be honest with you, I will. I understand the need to be macho, but I’ll call BS when man says it isn’t that bad. IT IS THAT BAD!

Just thinking back to that day, I may need a bag of frozen peas by the time I’m done writing this.

My wife and I no longer have baby fever, and we have been blessed to have both a son and daughter. We both agreed that since she experienced being cut open twice for child birth, I would have my time under the knife once we decided we were done having children.

I’ll spare you the pre-surgery questions the doc will ask. It boils down to asking if you’re sure you want to go through with the procedure. Hey, I was sure, everyone lied to me convinced me it was no big deal.

Fast forward to me lying naked on a table (sorry about the mental picture)…

The nurse walks in (thank goodness she was old and unattractive) and asks, “Did you take you’re pill before you got here.”

Okay lady, this is not the time for jokes. I look at her with fear in my eyes and ask, “What pill? C’mon, you’re kidding, right.”

She thought I was the one joking, “Yeah, you took it… didn’t you? The doctor prescribed you anti-anxiety medicine to take before you got here, right?”

Oh, Dear Lord! No need for a pill now. At this point panic sets in and all the adrenaline I could muster rushed to my groin. However, she assures me I’ll be “just fine.”

Medical technology has come so far, yet I was facing most barbaric procedure I could have imagined. When the Doctor entered the room and learned of his oversight with the pill, he chuckled. “Oops,” he says, “I’ve done thousands of these procedures and don’t think I’ve ever forgotten to prescribe pain medicine. You’re the first.”

Oops? Oops!? This has to be a bad sign right? At this point, the language in my head is not suitable for young ears.

Continue reading at Dad Round Table…

I’m very excited to join a great group of Dads who have gathered together to learn from each other and be heard in an effort to be the best Dad and Husband for our family. I’ve included an excerpt from my first post with DADS Round Table here. Make sure to read the full post over at DadsRoundTable.com, and check out the other great Dads who contribute their insight and wisdom.

I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that sharing your bed with young children is a form of torture in some communist countries. No one can argue how unpleasant cold feet are on the back of your legs. Or a knee to the back. Elbow to the ribs. Hand slap unexpectedly across the face just as you were to the best part of your dream!

My wife and I don’t make a habit of sharing our bed with our children. A bunch of psychologist got together and named this behavior co-sleeping. Personally, I call it “if you get in my bed, you better be still and go to sleep, and if you move even an inch and keep me from sleeping, you’re getting back in your bed, and there may be duct tape involved” uncomfortable.

Developing a closer bond is said to result from co-sleeping, and where that may be true with infants – and I know there are two very heated arguments around this – I’m pretty sure my six and four-year-old aren’t concerned about the bonding experience when they try to get in bed with us. It’s more likely that they’ve been awake for the last 15 minutes because they heard a sound that is surely a monster under their bed, and have been planning how fast they can get across the dark house to let you know about it. How they navigate in the dark without tripping on a toy or stepping on a Lego is truly an art form to be admired.

Continue reading at Dads Round Table…